Please be advised that professionals should always be consulted, and that the advice contained in this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional help from a practitioner.
The most common coaching advice for taming your wild child (try these before contacting me).
Replace punishments and timeouts with “instant replay”. This gives children the tools they need to resolve conflicts they have with other children. Here is one example, apply it to your situation:
Let’s say Sue hits Joe because she wants the ball he has. Joe pushes her down in response. They are both upset. Step one is, you take a deep breath and stay calm. As soon as the fight breaks out, get energized and proclaim without anger, “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” Put your hand in the air for extra emphasis as you approach them. Stand between them with a pleasant look on your face. Kindly announce, “We don’t grab things, we don’t hit, and we don’t push people down in our family/classroom.” (They probably already know this.) If they attempt to discuss the matter, go back to “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” Then ask for the ball. “Please give the ball to me for a moment.” Let them hand it to you, don’t rip it out of their hands. If they get upset tell them, “You will have the ball back in just a moment, right after we practice using our words.” Please tell each other “Please forgive me” and “I forgive you.” Tell them “we are going to do this over and use words this time.” You will then instruct them to go into the same positions they were in, just prior to the fight. Hand the ball to Joe. Tell them to stay there for the moment and have Joe do whatever he was doing with the ball. Tell Sue, “Ok Sue what can you say to Joe in order to play with the ball?” Give her some ideas such as “May I have a turn?” If she does it, great. If she says “Mine!” or something that is unkind, tell her “Good job for using words, that’s better than hitting. But, I would like kind words to be used please. Can you say ‘May I have a turn?'” Take your time as you wait for her to say it kindly. If she refuses, keep her with you and give her your kind attention. When she does finally ask, then Joe needs to have a kind response. Give him some ideas if needed, such as, ‘Yes’ or ‘Yes in 3 minutes’, or ‘Do you want to play catch with me?’ Yes, doing this takes time. But very quickly, you will hear them having this type of conversation by themselves! When you decide to try this, stick to it. And you won’t have to waste your time with a punishment. Increasing the affection you give to the children & the children give each other can make a big difference in their relationship with each other. Your role modeling kind and respectful behavior can go along way.
Meet Children’s needs
If a child is asking for food, give her some healthy food right away. If a child is thirsty, give her a healthy drink right away (not juice). Learn what foods are healthy by going to www.westonaprice.org and don’t buy anything else. Take healthy food and drink with you when you go out. If your child wants you, bring him closer to you and hold him. If a child is crying, hold him in your arms and comfort him. Never leave a crying or upset child alone, always try to comfort her. Never taunt an upset child. Play with your child as much as possible, and whenever she asks you to. Let children sleep with you whenever possible. Remove children from exposure to violence, whether that’s TV, violent and sexually violent toys, or people. Get outside in the sunshine or rain or snow. Dress appropriately and have fun! Teach your child to pray spontaneously as well as by rote. Pray for, with, and over your child. Simply meeting these needs can resolve most problems. Resources for these are listed in counselor section.
Pray for your child-learn to pray for your child, with your child, and over your child-healing works!!!
Take Care of You!!!!!!!!!!!!
You cannot stay calm and respectful to your child and be a role model if you are not kind and respectful to you. Good breathing (learn how to breathe deeply), good sleep, good food, good company, including your marital vow to make love: enjoy it and indulge in this: every time you do is pleasing to God and very healthy for your body in helping to relieve stress, good play, exercising, private prayer time morning and evening, good fellowship, and community worship are all needed to feed your heart, mind, body, and spirit.
If you have tried everything on this website to nurture you and your child’s mind, body, & spirit, and things are still not right, call me for a coaching appointment. Almost anything can be fine-tuned!
A. Planning Your Pregnancy
B. Planning to Foster/Adopt
C. For Expectant Parents
D. For Parents of Infants & Toddlers
E. Tame Your Wild Child
F. Parenting Techniques for Children who have been Abused/Neglected
G. Open Forum Style – Come with your Questions
H. Parents/Caregivers Choose the Topic
I. How Does Nutrition Affect Mental Illness and Behavior
Tame Your Wild Child Workshop – none currently scheduled
Free Pamphlets via email:
1. How to shop for healthy foods on a low budget or on food stamps.
2. How to keep child protection services off your back and out of your life.
3. How to start a prayer life.
4. Tips for preventing mental illness.
5. How to begin healing if you, the adult, have experienced abuse/neglect as a child.
6. Breaking the chains of intergenerational abuse/neglect/dysfunctional behaviors.
7. Steps to change your diet to a healthy one.
8. How to do Inner Child Healing Exercises-this is for adults and teens who have experienced childhood abuse